How often does flying the friendly skies run smoothly? It's mind blowing when it does. Recently I flew the first flight out in the morning to Seattle. Living an excruciating distance from JFK, we left the house before sun up. I was catatonic. No biggie, I figured I had 5 hours to sleep on the plane. I was armed and ready with my Bose headphones, eye mask, and cashmere blankie.
Once boarded, our merry Jet Blue pilot announced that we'd be arriving one hour early. Being glued to a Seinfeld marathon and landing faster than the Millennium Falcon screwed with my chance to nap. Most remarkable, my perpetually late son was at the airport waiting for me. Whoa.
My hotel was a monolithic monstrosity downtown. Banquet rooms and escalators coexisted and wearing plastic name tags was seemingly mandatory. This is not really my scene, but I scratched rock bottom with points so I have to suck it up. The room doesn't have a makeup mirror which is a pet travel peeve of mine, but I've wised up and brought my own, 10x magnification. The plastic coffee maker looks like it's from Toys R Us, but more about that later. Tired and cranky, my brilliant plan is to hang by the pool.
Plastic Hotel Coffee Maker Thing
I cheerfully unpacked my new Letarte bathing suit with the on-trend skull motif. Cue sound effects here whomp whomp: There is no pool. The front desk explains that there used to be one. I asked, "Where did it go?" because in all seriousness, where can a pool go? To quote Joni Mitchell, they paved paradise and it's now a meeting room. Seattle is having an unprecedented heatwave and the only place I can wear my new bathing suit is in a meeting room? Where did I think I was, Beverly Hills?
Letarte "BajaFestival" One-Piece Plunge
Getting back to that coffee maker… with zero expectations, I figured it would produce the usual brown sludge. When we travel Hubby is my coffee slave. The poor guy runs around comatose in search of the strongest cup of joe, hoping it will snap me out of my morning decrepitude. But alas, he is not with me on this trip. The first morning, practically unconscious, I tore the paper that uncovered a plastic part that housed a coffee filter. I’m intrigued. I pour the water in the well and wait for it, drip drop.
No makeup mirror? 1 demerit.
No pool? 2 demerits.
No free wi-fi? Don't get me started.
But the coffee, Wowzers! PURE-CAFFEINATED-BLISS. Rise & shine, Seattle! It’s gonna be a good day!
very funny and now I’ll get me a cup of coffee.
So….where do they swim??!!!! Love your energy and wit.